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Saturday, July 11, 2020

Health Update

Old photo is old but I'd rather start my life update entries out with an image and all of the images that I have right now are currently top secret because I'm working on a project with other people oxo

Okay so. News. Here we go.

December-ish I started having frequent migraines that interfered with me doing anything at all. They'd literally shut me down and I'd have to go to sleep to survive them.
I went to the hospital a few times because of how unbearable they were.
They were all really traumatic.

Feb rolls around and it hadn't been too long since I went to the hospital about another migraine and my heart starts doing this terrifying thing that lands me on the floor and in an ambulance.

The day after I get back from the ER visit for it I can't walk. I can- but I walk like an old lady and I can't stand for very long. Breathing is difficult. Lifting anything is impossible.

Trash starts piling up, gnats are everywhere, I basically live in a dumpster. I can't cook for myself. I'm killing myself trying to just cross the road to walk my dog, stand there dying from pain, and walk back again. Several times I literally have to sit down on the cement to compose myself and gain my breath back again. Another time I almost fell in the middle of the road. All because the kitchen is already a wreck and I don't want my doggo stuck in a place of his own waste if I stop taking him out.

I am in my own hell.

I talk to my caseworker about the issue. I'm up to my ears in stress and hopelessness.
No one really helps or understands.

I give up.
I call my insurance and take a risk. Ask them, knowing that I'm still too young and have no actual diagnosis for what's wrong with me-- if they can send me in-home-help/nursing.

We push it for weeks. In the first couple of weeks, the system just isn't accepting my request. The lady managing my case is lovely and fights for me.

A couple of days ago a lady shows up at my door and comes in to talk with me (with a mask! I also never open my door for any reason without one on as well)

She looks at the place, she speaks with me and tells me she'll get permanent staff to help me as soon as she can- it'll take a week or two at most.

I can't get over how happy I am. I've felt trapped for so long. It's finally happening.
I don't have to order food anymore and keep putting on this weight because it's literally all I can do to eat. I literally couldn't just walk back and forth from the kitchen or stand there and make something for myself let alone do dishes so I've just been piling the weight on and I hate it- it makes me hate food and myself.

They'll be cooking for me, doing my laundry, vacuuming, helping me bathe, the whole deal until I can get myself fixed-- if I can-- god I hope I can x.x

I've also been helping a friend develop a species for a discord they have planned. I have lots of art I *could* share but nothing has been released yet so I'm having to hold off, I apologize.

I've done a bit of character concepts and have found that I'm enjoying pushing environmental concepts as well. I'm not getting paid for anything so it's good practice for me and I don't feel like I'm letting anyone down if I miss a few.

The moment I'm able to I'll release them here.

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